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Rush
To Judgement
a one-act play by Nancy Hanna
In the
kitchen of a small Midwest house with an
archway to living room and door to the backyard.
Ruth
Jean doesn't believe it.
Erin
I'm afraid.
Ruth
How could
she sit all those years in church...
be a hearer and a doer but not a believer?
Erin
Maybe we should turn on the radio.
Ruth
I mean, why bother?
Erin
I'm gonna take all the pictures off the walls.
Ruth
I set next to this woman for 40 years. She's head of the pancake breakfast for goshshakes. Last year we sent 15 packages of cookies off to our missionaries and college students. No one else showed up, just Jean and me did it.
Erin
Mama, it's comin'. I know it is.
Ruth
I know it is too and that's what scares me. Jean's been my best friend since first grade, Mrs. Wiser's class. I'm gonna call the preacher. I've got to talk this over with someone. Figure out what to do. Maybe he can'talk sense into her.
Erin
Where's the tape? Mama why's this radio not workin'?
Ruth
Batteries. (to the phone) What's his number? I gotta look it up.
Erin
Don't you have batteries somewhere? Masking tape for the windows. Mama, where's the masking tape?
Ruth
The years, I've worshipped with this woman. She doesn't believe any of it, that's what she said. She doesn't believe in 'that blood stuff.' That's what she said. 'Communion makes her want to choke,' thinkin' she's eatin' flesh. 'It's sick,' she said. 'All the killin' in'the Old Testament. God makin' earth and all the stuff on it, in only six days,' she said. She doesn't believe it. Not one word of it.
Erin
I found it. (with tape, she begins to tape up the windows)
Ruth
Help me find it. Erin, I can't find the preacher's number. You'd think I'd know it after all this time.
Erin
That's tellin'.
Ruth
What?
Erin
Well, sometimes the brain blocks out information...subconsciously.
Ruth
What do you mean by that?
Erin
You never wanted to learn his number.
Ruth
What's that have to do with anything? I know the man. I know where to reach him.
Erin
How often do you call him? In a week? How often do you suppose you've got church business and you pick up the phone to call him?
Ruth
I don't have any idea.
Erin
Oh yes, you do. Come on, think about it. You better go bring the dog in.
Ruth
You are some piece of work, aren't you? As if I'm not upset enough, you've got to heap on misery.
(opens door) Sassy! Sassy! Get in here.
(A mutt enters.)
I find out my best friend is an a-go-nostic and now you're tryin' to turn things in on me. Your hair is dirty. Why do I always have to remind you? For 20 years now, I have to remind you to wash your hair.
Erin
I like it dirty.
Ruth
A storms comin' and it might take the water out and you are going to go around after, with your hair dirty. Go wash your hair. Right now. Before it gets here.
Erin
That's a joke, right?
Ruth
No, I'm not kiddin'. Come on, right now. I'll help you, before the storm comes. It's like dyin' in a car accident with dirty underpants. (pushing her towards the sink) Come on, let's just wash it in the sink.
Erin
Don't do it, Mama. Don't you dare do it.
Ruth
You're going to feel so much better with clean hair.
(She starts to wash Erin's hair. Erin yields to this.)
Erin
Mama, not dish washer soap.
Ruth
Just shut up.
Beat.
Erin
Do you have any canned foods?
Ruth
(scrubbing her hair)
Um hum. Lots. And some of Jean's canned peaches too.
Erin
Do you have matches?
Ruth
Erin, don't ask me stupid questions.
Erin
That feels good, Mama. You should have been a beautician.
Ruth
I could have been a lot of things.
Erin
Think of all the women you could have ministered to in a beauty shop.
Ruth
226-7352. I know it. I know, I know it.
Erin
Women have to sit there and take, pretty much anything their beautician has to give.
Ruth
226-7358.
Erin
And they never complain about a bad haircut...too afraid to hurt the hairdresser's feelings.
Ruth
(ends washing her hair, crosses to phone)
Get a towel.
Erin
They just switch beauty parlors, is all. Never go back to them again.
Ruth
Maybe if I act like I'm dialing it.
Erin
(towel drying hair)
I knew Jean wasn't right.
Ruth
(dialing phone)
2-2-6-7-3, that's corner to corner. It's just the last two, I'm not sure about...5-3.
Erin
I've seen her roll her eyes one too many times. And then, there was no agreement. She never 'Amened' anything. Not once. Even with those evangelists. Never a peep.
Ruth
Ah, hello. Is this Reverend Burn's residence? Oh, I'm sorry to bother you. Well, I'm so sorry. Good-bye, now. It's so close to that. (dialing again) 2-2-6-7-3-5--6.
Erin
(looking out window)
It's picking up. The porch furniture. We forgot the porch furniture. I'm going to go put it in the garage.
(Erin exits.)
Ruth
Ah yes, hello. Is this the Reverend Burns? Yes, this is Ruth Meeks. Yes, I heard about that. We're just putting away our yard furniture. No kidding. Is that right? Who is this? Oh, Albert. Why yes, of course I know you Albert...Ritter. Yes, I guess it's been about 20 years or so. I didn't even recognize your voice. How are you? How's your ...corn coming in this year? Yes, I guess it is a little early. You think it's heading our way then?
Ruth cont.
Well, I hope your fields aren't hit, Albert. No, I was just trying to reach Reverend Burns. 2-2-6-7-3-5-7? Now, I should have remember that. Sevens on each end. Yes, we'll be careful. Thank you, Albert. No, we're...I'm fine. Don't you dare come over here. Not ever. (slams the phone down, shaken)
Erin
It's not right out there.
Ruth
I got the number.
Erin
We're in for it. Miss Stormy Weather's come to pay us a visit. (she begins to sing "Stormy Weather")
Ruth
Now how do you suppose a heathen like Albert Ritter knew the pastors phone number. He's never graced the steps of a church door in his life.
(Ruth becomes "unglued".)
Erin
(filling the sink with water, and still singing)
Stormy Weather. (then "dodododo-do" from Wizard of Oz) "Oh no, Sassy. We're not in Kansas any more." "I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too!"
Ruth
Albert knew the pastor's phone number. I can't imagine it. Now what would those two possibly have to talk about? Dry your hair, Erin. You don't want to have wet hair when'the storm hits.
(She sits Erin down a chair and towel dries her hair.)
Are you ready, Sweetie? If the storm hits and things go bad? I've lived every day like it was my last for years.
Erin
Yes, I know.
(takes hold of Ruth's hands on her head)
You're trembling.
Ruth
(bordering hysterical)
If a board breaks loose and strikes open my head, so be it. I don't get it all, but I don't need to. Mystery is precious to me. Something our human minds ought not bother to sort through. Somebody ought to explain that to Jean.
Erin
Like infinity? Eternity? Where it just goes on and on and on.
Ruth
Yes. And why some die young and others linger on past their use. Living's a flawed business. So's dyin'. So's love.
Erin
Oh really? And what would you know about that? Maybe it's time you speak some pearls of wisdom about love to me, Mama...before our time runs out and the very last day is upon us.
Ruth
Are you bein' smart? There how's that? (refers to hair) Almost all dried up.
Erin
Thanks. Well, it's just if boards go flyin', I might never benefit from all your experience. So who was he? Before the boards fly, Mama, I'd like to know. I know it wasn't the immaculate conception. And I'm pretty sure, knowing you, it wasn't the immaculate 'preconception' either. More like, the not so immaculate 'misconception.'
Ruth
You are talking nonsense. It's none of your business.
(Erin looks outside.)
Erin
(dangerously angry)
Why are you so rattled then? It's gettin' black out there. And I have to side with Jean on'this one. Call me an agnostic, I don't believe my daddy was an angel. And I don't think he was a devil either.
(She crosses and begins to shake Ruth.)
Tell me about love, Mama. I wouldn't know, would I? I'm the last remaining virgin from my class at Eleanor DeCamp High School. No one's ever touched me that way. What's it like?
(She wrestles Ruth to the floor and sits on top of her.)
Give it up. Who was it? Somebody from around here? A traveling salesman? An itinerant evangelist?
Ruth
Absolutely not. Now, stop it.
Erin
Here comes the storm to tear us all to pieces. Who was he?
Ruth
Albert. (sweating)
Don't you want to brush your hair?
Erin
Who?
Ruth
Albert Ritter.
Erin
No. Albert Ritter, the guy you just dialed on'the telephone?
Ruth
He got fresh with me on a high school hay ride. He got me drunk with beer. And started kissing...I can't believe I'm tellin' you this.
Erin
The heathen corn farmer, who lives a mile down'the road is my daddy?
Ruth
That's why my hands were shakin'. Hearin' his voice. Now shut up about it.
Erin
Or should I say, sperm donor. You all are more sophisticated than I thought around here.
Ruth
Now there, you know. Let me up.
(Erin lets Ruth up, and they both rise.)
Erin
Well that's somethin'. You really spilled a good one.
Ruth
Now go put a brush through her hair.
Erin
Later Mom. It's almost here. We better get to the bathroom.
Ruth
But it's all tangled. Doesn't that bother you?
Erin
Not really.
Ruth
It will dry all tangled. And witchy.
Erin
Come on, Mom. Let's go get in the bath tub.
Ruth
No, no I'm stayin' right here. (she stands in the door archway)
Erin
You're suppose to go to the bathroom...inside the house.
Ruth
The archway's fine. Come here, so I can kiss my girl.
Erin
But the windows, if the blow out, we'll get all cut up.
Ruth
It doesn't matter.
Erin
(looks out window)
Here it comes Mama. God Almighty. I see it. Come look. Maybe we oughtta get outta here.
Ruth
Come here, Baby girl. So I can hold you.
Erin
Don't you want to see it?
Ruth
I know what it looks like. Come here, Baby Girl.
Erin
I can't. I'm not like you. I haven't given up yet...in fact, I haven't even gotten started.
(She pulls the table off stage towards bathroom.)
Erin cont.
I'm gettin' in the tub and putting this table over top of me. Come - on - now - Mama. I mean it!
Ruth
I wonder where Jean is? I hope she's safe.
Erin
(off stage)
I'm in'the tub. I have the hair brush. Come on, Mama. You can come brush my hair.
Ruth
God's fury, headed right towards us. We're bein' judged.
Erin
You can'tell me all about Albert. Livin' next to him all these years and never speaking.
Ruth
Or maybe it's old Slue Foot, his self -- tryin' to kill and destroy...
Erin
If you don't speak a thing, it's like never happened, right?
Ruth
You can't touch me! Not me and my girl...
Erin
I'm the livin', breathin' evidence how it's possible to make hay while the sun don't shine.
Ruth
Greater is He that is in me!
Erin
I'm brushin' my hair, Mama, come and see.
Ruth
(squeezes eyes closed)
2-2-6-7-5-3-7, that's his number. (shouting) The pastor's number is 2-2-6-7-5-3-7. I knew it, Erin.
BLACK OUT